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Guide>>Attendants>>Article
Selecting
the Wedding Party
By
Megan Mercer
Last Update:
October 16, 2005
Today,
the average wedding party consists of 4 to 6 bridesmaids
and groomsmen.
In general, the more formal the wedding the larger the
wedding party will be. The traditional "rule
of thumb" is
one groomsman for every 50 guests. However, this
number may
vary depending on the wishes of the marrying couple.
Remember,
bigger isn't always better!
Don't forget about your budget! The
larger the wedding party the more costly your wedding
will be.
With each additional
attendant you must provide a bouquet/boutonniere, gift,
accommodations, etc. So if cost is an issue, the more
is not the merrier.
Don't feel obligated
to return the favor.
Just because you were in
your friend's wedding doesn't obligate you to
give him or her a place in yours.
Consider the individual's
circumstance.
Someone who lives across
the county, is pregnant, just had a baby, or has an
illness
in the family may
not be able to participate in the way you would like.
Don't be offended if someone turns down your invitation
to
be in your wedding. Being a bridesmaid or groomsmen
requires a great financial/time commitment and for
many of us those two commodities are in short supply.
Consider
personalities.
Enough said, right? You
need people who are responsible, dependable, mature
and supportive surrounding you on your wedding day. If
two of your closest friends don't get along or your cousin
always has to be the center of attention, you might not
want them as your attendants.
You will already have enough stress from planning
the wedding; you
don't need your wedding party to add to your frustration.
Take your time,
but don't wait until the last minute.
Don't run out and ask all
of your "best" buds to be your bridesmaids
immediately after you get engaged only to decide later
that you will be having a small, informal wedding. It's
better to wait than to withdraw an offer.
A
good "rule of thumb"
is to wait
to select the wedding party until after you have set
the
date, reserved
the
ceremony/reception site, and firmed up the guest
list. These choices may affect the number of attendants
you want and their availability.
That
being said, don't wait until the last minute, your
attendants will need
time to make travel arrangements, get time
off of work, save money, etc. Also you will want
plenty of time to find and order the attendants' attire. Plan
on asking at least six months before the wedding
or as soon as possible if you don't have that much time!
Don't obsess
about the numbers.
Your
wedding party should be filled with your nearest and
dearest. Trust me; you will probably regret asking
your distant cousin or your long lost college roommate
to
stand up
for you just to have an even number of guys
and
girls or to have more people in the wedding party!
If you
have an uneven number of guys and girls it's not the
end of the world. In
fact it is quite common. You
can always have the girls walk by themselves down the
aisle or in pairs,
while the groomsmen wait up front with the groom.
You
have to draw the line somewhere!
Be thoughtful when making
your selections, this can be quite a task if
you have many
friends and loved ones. Remember, you can't include
everyone! Make your decision as soon as possible
and spread the word. Don't leave a friend hanging!
If there are some women that
you want to be involved but you can't have them as
bridesmaids, ask them to be Honorary Bridesmaids (also
known as Honor Attendants). They will attend the rehearsal
dinner, bridesmaids' luncheon, and sit with the family
in the front of the church on the special day.
