Making Your Wedding Ceremony Unique

Making Your Ceremony Unique
By Megan Mercer
Last Update: October 16, 2005

There are a number of elements you can add to your ceremony to personalize it. Following are some suggestions.

1. Explain the significance of the unity candle, if you are using one.
You may want to ask the person overseeing the ceremony to make a point of explaining the meaning of this symbol. Have your mothers light two individual candles, then you and your fiancé light the unity candle together (at an appropriate point in the ceremony) with the candles your mothers respectively lit.

2. With your officiant, find appropriate places to update traditional wording.
For instance, many couples today prefer the phrase “Who presents this bride?” rather than “Who gives this bride?” Another option: “Who blesses this union?” Be sure to discuss such concerns in detail with your officiant.

3. Write your own vows.
Again, be sure to work closely with the officiant. Some places of worship may have to approve your altered vows ahead of time. Others may not allow any changes to be made.

4. Incorporate family reading sequences.
It is interesting to note that the fathers of today’s brides are being incorporated into the ceremony more than in years past. It is not uncommon now for the bride’s father to write a short passage on behalf of his family expressing happiness for new couple-to-be.

5. Thank your parents.
Your ceremony is a perfect opportunity to honor your parents publicly by asking a close family member to read a short composition of your own. (You can even read this yourself if you feel comfortable doing so.)

Another option for honoring your parents is to present them with a flower (perhaps a single rose) at the end of the ceremony, before you make your trip back up the aisle as husband and wife. Or have the bride present a flower to the groom’s parents and visa versa.

6. Use trumpets or a string quartet!
How about a fanfare instead of the typical organ processional and recessional? This can be a special touch that may fit into your budget more easily than you think.

7. Meet and greet.
In place of, or in addition to, the standard receiving line, you can dismiss the guests from their seats yourselves. This means that, after the recessional, you return to the front of the building and, pew by pew, do what the ushers would normally do. Greet each guest and direct him or her toward the exit. This approach gives you a chance to say hello to people who do not plan on attending the reception or may skip the receiving line.

8. Make up a wedding program.
A wedding program should include the schedule of your ceremony and the names of the bride, groom, bride’s parents, groom’s parents, all of the wedding attendants, and any other people you would like to thank or honor. At the back of the program you might thank your guests for coming and pass along your new address. (This can save you the step of printing up “at home” cards.)

Get creative! Don't be afraid to add personal touches to your wedding ceremony to make it special and unique. The sky is the limit! Remember it's your day, go ahead, create the dream wedding you have always wanted and will never forget!